Things are changing..

Well me and my youngest are getting along a lot better, "what happened to make this so? you might ask" well basically I finally had reached my breaking point and told her that she either treated me better and with a respect that she could pack her stuff, and leave her phone(which is the best bargaining tool there is!) and have someone come get her, you get to a point where enough is enough, and even though it was breaking my heart, I just really could not take it anymore! well I do believe that kinda shook her up, she has been real respectful, and we have actually been having a good time together, so I guess it just took me finally saying no more, and letting her see that yes she could push me over the edge and that she had nowhere to go..

If someone told me ten years ago that....

If someone told me ten years ago that me and my youngest daughter would have the strained and distant relationship that we have now, I would have told them they was crazy! you see me and my kids have all been close, but Morgan was a mommies girl, I mean my oldest was too, but when Morgan was getting older, Jordan started having her older friends and was more into boys lol the way it should be! but Morgan didn't want me out of her sight, we would do everything together, when I got divorced when she was ten, we would get Anime (she loved that!) and we would make like a pallet on the floor on weekends and watch Anime all weekend, then all of sudden when she turned like 15 she started treating me differently, I mean I know people say all kids go thru this phase where they act like they cant stand their parents, but this has been different and I cant really explain how, and for the last three years it has slowly eroded, to the point of where today I actually came to terms with the fact that the relationship we had is gone, and its never going to be like it was, she's a different person, so instead of trying so hard, and being hurt time and time again, Im giving up. I mean I love her with all my heart, and I would do anything for her, but im just not going to try so hard anymore, im not going to wonder what I can do to make her happy, what I can do so that she wont talk like she can barely tolerate to talk with me, Im just going to go on with my day and just be happy with the relationship that I do have with her. I do hope one day she will tell me what I did to make her change how she felt about me, and trust me I have gone thru things in my mind to try and figure it out, but I honestly cant think of anything. but anyway, I do trust in the LOrd, and I have asked that he restore my relationship with Morgan, and hopefully it will happen

Going home again..

I have come to visit my parents and decided to go through old family photos, wow what a treasure trove of family history!! its amazing my family has literally lived all around the war, been in many wars, moonshiners, millionaires, actors, stowaways and much more, I have loved this time with my parents infact I called my daughter and asked if she would watch my dog for one more day so I could stay another day with them! I think its important to spend time with your parents if your blessed to still have them in your life..It will mean more to you as you get older, trust me..

This whole dating thing sucks!!

Ok I have gotten on a couple of dating sites..major waste of time..same people on every sight, I don't care if its a Christian or farmers only sight, its the same freaking people!! My daughters say Im too picky, but I don't want to settle, if he cant make my heart beat a little faster when I see him...then no deal!! and its not like it was when I was younger, I could go to the mall and have ten calls by the time I got home from guys I had given my number to, lol but now a days men act like they are scared to death to approach a woman! and I'm sorry but im old school I am not going to make the first move. So my daughters said you need to make the first move, so I was like ok Ill give it a shot, so I contacted someone on facebook that I was interested in, he was smart, and musical, things I do look for, so I thought what the heck Ill give it a shot, well that was a freaking waste of time, he acted like he didn't have the time of day for me, even though he wasn't by any standards gods gift to women..so Im not going to do that again that's for sure! anyways why are men so afraid to approach women? I was in a deli not to long ago and I could tell this man was interested in me, and he had no ring on, and I don't have a ring on, but he wouldn't approach me for nothing so I just left, and this whole internet dating thing, is a joke, all it is people looking for hookups..But I'm not going to give up!

The last one is getting ready to leave the nest..

Well it's that time, that time that I have been dreading, yet was denying would happen. My youngest has graduated and has decided she is going to move out, well she hasn't officially done it, but she is staying gone more and more days away with a friend. So I have had to face some harsh realities, I will soon be alone..and I am not going to lie this has scared me somewhat. Its because now,I have to really realize and face the fact since it has been seven years since my divorce and I have not been in one relationship, hell I haven't even had a second date, that I could quite possibly end up alone. I am in nursing school so this takes up a lot of my time, and I am going to try and start taking some little weekend trips when I can. As for the dating thing, it sucks!